Ahhh, My days are busy like hell ! Level Completion Program in BUET , Department Picnic , IEEE Sparks Quiz Competition -all these stuffs are going like crazy simultaneously. Today I am having a very busy day. Everything was going fine!But suddenly I realized one thing.
I am not creative. All I do are mere , boring , physical labour based stuffs. But I have no deal with creativity. Some of my friends are getting ready for some performance ( songs), I can’t join them since I can’t play any instruments or sing. Hmm, I am not a good writer so that I can’t write anything like lyrics.
In my entire life all things I did , are not creative. I am busy with all physical labour based work. I am not doing anything to innovate. Some people say, I have skill in computer and Internet related stuffs. But are those things creative? I guess not. Like one of my favourite things is finding Exploit Codes for security holes from Internet . But I am not the person, writing those skillful codes. I am just finding them from Internet. Anyone good at searching , can do this. Searching ain’t a creative work. I have some knowledge about software’s and other things, those are also not creative. In-fact the problem lies in deep. I have chosen , network for my interest. So far what I did , that’s not creative since , network itself is not a creative work. I find the only creative work is coding/programing or graphics designing. But I am not good at anything of these. I am just a physical labor. I have done things like configuring servers , bot (IRC) , all these hells are so easy, that anyone willing to give some time can do these. I can not do anything rare found. I am finding this problem pathetic. Suddenly , all of my life ,work everything is in-front of a question mark. Am I doing wrong. Heck , I am even not tremendous in my study. I am not best in any field. Either I am destroying myself or I haven’t that capability never.
Time to give a deep thought about this. All I see in front me is a dark tunnel.